During meditation today, I felt myself in a heaven/earth moment with the universe. Akin to the Aikido movement of the same name, the moment pivoted on an exchange of energy. But instead of being thrown to the floor, the universe and I danced. Aikido is often translated as “the way of unifying with life energy” or “the way of harmonious spirit” – a fitting metaphor for this experience. Rather than resisting the universe, I harmonized with it, becoming one.
I felt both so very tiny — a child dancing with my father, his big arms salsaing me across the floor as I stood on his feet — and large beyond measure as I merged with that infinite existence that is difficult to describe.
As soon as the ending bell intoned, I felt a tingling sensation at my left temple, the side of my body that has been alternating between numbness and pain for quite some time. The temple. How apt, as if my body was reminding me that it, too, is a sacred space.
This experience was an unexpected gift. I have not done a silent breathing meditation in a long time. I prefer to work with chanting instead, as silent breath-focused meditation has historically brought up a deeply rooted sense of panic. But this session was different. It felt like opening the door to a haunted house and walking into a sanctuary instead.
I don’t expect this outcome each time I meditate. However, this experience has made me curious about breath-focused meditation moving forward. And incredibly grateful for having felt this connection and healing at all.