A Life Disordered Autism Microdosing Reality

Unarmored

I pause on “unarmored,” uncertain if it is a word. My brain wants to say “disarmored,” like “disarmed,” but that isn’t right.Unarmed is without weapons. Vulnerable. Like walking into conflict, arms outspread. The place of “Let’s find another way. Together.”  Disarmed is to have one’s weapons taken away or incapacitated in some manner—forced vulnerability. Rather than a sense of openness, it is a place of fear. The place of “What the fuck happens next?” and “Please, don’t hurt me.”So to be “unarmored” is to choose to be vulnerable. To be open to the world. To find another way.

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Living Microdosing Reality

The Anxiety List – Part One

It’s almost 6 a.m., and I’m sitting in a cabin on a cliff at the edge of the Pacific Ocean. The relentless rain turns the tin-roofed cabin into an immersive acoustic experience—slightly like popcorn in a microwave but far more relaxing. Microwaving popcorn is stressful. The list of seemingly mundane activities that increase my anxiety would fill notebooks and far more therapy sessions than my FSA account would allow. 

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Frameworks Goals Microdosing Reality

Lily Padding It

Setting goals isn’t always the best approach, and certainly it isn’t for everyone despite the pervasiveness of it in our culture. One of my favorite alternative frameworks is the concept of “Lily padding it”, a phrase inspired entirely by Stephen Shapiro’s conversation with one of his friends during a time when he was trying to figure out his life plan…

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